Grief is a bitch!

Today is my birthday. A day which is supposed to be a joyous, happy day only it wasn't, as hard as i tried. Today was different, there was someone missing. Someone who i miss very much, someone who i lost just over 3 months ago. I didn't know it would be this hard or this painful today of all days. I know it's normal (or so i've been told) to have felt like this today but how can such painful feelings be so normal?? Through it all i am grateful to have a nice enough time spent with family and friends. Unfortunatly there will probably more days like this in the future but that is grief, I just have to ride it like a rollercoaster. It doesn't stop grief being a bitch though!